Selected from the week’s calls to the Sheriff’s northern substation and the Misquah first responders. Names are withheld where charges were not filed, which this week is everyone, including the projector.

Tuesday, 4:10 p.m. Report of a vehicle blocking the alley behind Second Avenue. Vehicle identified as a delivery truck at the brewery, unloading glassware. Driver advised of the alley’s width; driver advised the deputy of the glassware’s value. Both parties made their point and the alley was clear by half past.

Wednesday, 10:05 a.m. A resident reported that a second file drawer had been delivered to city hall and wished the desk to note it “for the historical record.” The desk has so noted. No offense occurred.

Friday, 9:38 p.m. Multiple callers reported “a green light over the rec field.” Determined to be a meteor, observed by approximately one hundred ninety people who were already outdoors watching a western. No action available. One caller asked whether more were expected; caller was referred to Wednesday.

Saturday, 11:52 a.m. Traffic backed up on County 12 near the corn stand, both directions, during the funeral hour. Deputy Vang responded and found the stand closed, the traffic composed of vehicles slowing to look at a cardboard sign reading BACK AT ONE. No enforcement action. The deputy directed traffic for twenty minutes and reports the drivers were, without exception, polite.

Saturday, 6:20 p.m. A wallet was turned in at the church basement following the funeral lunch, containing cash and a punch card for the café with one square remaining. Owner located within the hour by the simple method of asking the Ladies’ Aid, who knew.

Sunday, 7:15 a.m. Caller reported “two loons going somewhere” over the narrows. Confirmed as the Big Pelican juveniles, ranging. The desk notes this is the third such call this month and that it has stopped logging them as incidents and started logging them as weather.

Sunday, 2:30 p.m. A goat was reported at large near County 6. The goat was gone on arrival. Twelfth non-meeting. The file is now, by length, the substation’s longest-running open matter that nobody wishes to close.

Monday, 8:40 a.m. Report of a person reading a notebook through the front window of the Pilot-Independent office. Determined to be a member of the public reading, through glass, a notebook displayed on a shelf beyond arm’s reach. No offense. The office has moved the notebook.